Sunday, February 22, 2009
Where Did She Go?
(Proverbs 31:1-10)
King Lemuel (regarded by some commentators as a pen name for King Solomon), perhaps in despair of prevailing cultural conditions, looked around the vastness of his realm and questioned, “Who can find a virtuous woman?” It may have been that virtue had given way to vice in the matriarchy of his day. It may have been that old-fashioned standards had been jettisoned for new models of femininity and motherhood. Whatever the reason, Lemuel laments the rarity of genuine virtue among the woman of his day.
His lament is “ripped from the headlines” of contemporary America! Virtue, it seems, has been tossed upon America’s cultural ash heap—along with modesty, decency, and chastity. What’s worse, the professing church is not far behind culture in rewriting the standards for godly ladies.
Just what is virtue? The dictionary answer is as good as any: “The quality of being morally good or righteous.” Perhaps that sounds a little prudish to our licentious culture. “Prudish” or not, it is Bible.
How may virtue be made practical in a woman’s life? Test yourself—your speech, attire, attitude, and motives—by asking yourself “Does ________ reflect moral goodness and righteousness?” And remember, if it’s doubtful, it’s dirty.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wisdom for the Wife - 2
Monday, February 23, 2009
The Trusting Heart
(Proverbs 31:10-15)
Good marriages are built upon trust. Of course, trust is a two-way street. The wife must trust the husband with her heart—her feelings, emotions, dreams, and desires. Because of his position, the husband holds the keys to his wife’s happiness.
The husband must also be able to trust his wife. In fact, a woman’s fidelity to her husband’s leadership, reputation, and intimacy should be so sterling as to engender trust from her husband’s heart, not just his head. In other words, the wife should be so trustworthy as to never give her husband the slightest doubts about his confidence in her.
Practically speaking, ladies, that means that your husband should trust you in every aspect of life. For example, he should trust you to never abuse credit cards. He should have absolute confidence that you will not reveal private matters to others—even your very best friend. He should “rest assured” that you use your time profitably, rather than “hanging out” on facebook. (Ouch.)
Once a woman gains the “heart trust” of her husband, her position in his eyes is virtually unshakable. Heart trust expands the wife’s freedom and eliminates the husband’s anxiety. A husband’s heart trust is one of the most valuable possessions a wife can gain.
Of the virtuous woman it is written, “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” May it be said of you.
The Trusting Heart
(Proverbs 31:10-15)
Good marriages are built upon trust. Of course, trust is a two-way street. The wife must trust the husband with her heart—her feelings, emotions, dreams, and desires. Because of his position, the husband holds the keys to his wife’s happiness.
The husband must also be able to trust his wife. In fact, a woman’s fidelity to her husband’s leadership, reputation, and intimacy should be so sterling as to engender trust from her husband’s heart, not just his head. In other words, the wife should be so trustworthy as to never give her husband the slightest doubts about his confidence in her.
Practically speaking, ladies, that means that your husband should trust you in every aspect of life. For example, he should trust you to never abuse credit cards. He should have absolute confidence that you will not reveal private matters to others—even your very best friend. He should “rest assured” that you use your time profitably, rather than “hanging out” on facebook. (Ouch.)
Once a woman gains the “heart trust” of her husband, her position in his eyes is virtually unshakable. Heart trust expands the wife’s freedom and eliminates the husband’s anxiety. A husband’s heart trust is one of the most valuable possessions a wife can gain.
Of the virtuous woman it is written, “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” May it be said of you.
Wisdom for the Wife - 3
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
The Working Woman
(Proverbs 31:13-19)
Rather than being shunned, the Bible depicts hard work as one of the greatest blessings of life. In our luxury mad society, work has, for some, become a dirty word. In fact, some folks work at avoiding work! Such should never be the attitude of a Christian woman.
Consider, for example, the Proverbs 31 gal: She worked willingly with wool and flax, crafting material necessities for her household (13). She practiced sound principles of home economics when grocery shopping (14). She was not a “sleepy head,” but rather arose before dawn to prepare a hearty, country breakfast (15). (Can I get an “Amen,” guys?)
In addition to domestic duties, she had honed her skills as a sharp business negotiator, closing significant deals to the profit of her household (16). In other words, she could function effectively both in the home and in the “real world.” You must admit, she’s quite a gal!
“How,” you ask, “did she get so good?” The answer is simple, but in our day undesirable: she worked at it. It took work to learn to weave; it took discipline to get up early; it took effort to shop efficiently; and it took devotion to fix that hearty, country breakfast. She did it all—and more—by the simple, old-fashioned, oft-derided virtue known as work! Be a working woman!
The Working Woman
(Proverbs 31:13-19)
Rather than being shunned, the Bible depicts hard work as one of the greatest blessings of life. In our luxury mad society, work has, for some, become a dirty word. In fact, some folks work at avoiding work! Such should never be the attitude of a Christian woman.
Consider, for example, the Proverbs 31 gal: She worked willingly with wool and flax, crafting material necessities for her household (13). She practiced sound principles of home economics when grocery shopping (14). She was not a “sleepy head,” but rather arose before dawn to prepare a hearty, country breakfast (15). (Can I get an “Amen,” guys?)
In addition to domestic duties, she had honed her skills as a sharp business negotiator, closing significant deals to the profit of her household (16). In other words, she could function effectively both in the home and in the “real world.” You must admit, she’s quite a gal!
“How,” you ask, “did she get so good?” The answer is simple, but in our day undesirable: she worked at it. It took work to learn to weave; it took discipline to get up early; it took effort to shop efficiently; and it took devotion to fix that hearty, country breakfast. She did it all—and more—by the simple, old-fashioned, oft-derided virtue known as work! Be a working woman!
Wisdom for the Wife - 4
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
The Strong Survive
(Proverbs 31:17-20)
Traditional gender roles dictate the quality of “strength” as a fundamentally masculine quality. We think of muscle-bound weight lifters and rugged steel mill workers. Images of the strong, independent man abound—and rightly so.
Strength, however, is also an attribute rightly ascribed to the virtuous woman. The Bible says, “She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.” In a manner of speaking, she’s feminine; but she ain’t no wimp! Strength, then, is a praiseworthy attribute of every truly virtuous lady.
How should a woman be strong? Certainly, she should be physically strong. Though not a body builder, she should be able to handle physical tasks such as cleaning and laundry without fatigue. Beyond that, she should be mentally strong. That is, she should be able to handle stress and issues without constantly appealing to her husband for help “with every little thing.” She should be able to handle the children until hubby gets home. The strong woman does not call her husband at work every fifteen minutes to whine about her current embroilment with the kids.
Of course, and most importantly, she should be strong spiritually. The strong woman has a strong tie to Heaven. The strong woman has strong confidence in God. The strong woman survives, because the strong woman loves and serves the Lord Jesus, first and foremost.
The Strong Survive
(Proverbs 31:17-20)
Traditional gender roles dictate the quality of “strength” as a fundamentally masculine quality. We think of muscle-bound weight lifters and rugged steel mill workers. Images of the strong, independent man abound—and rightly so.
Strength, however, is also an attribute rightly ascribed to the virtuous woman. The Bible says, “She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.” In a manner of speaking, she’s feminine; but she ain’t no wimp! Strength, then, is a praiseworthy attribute of every truly virtuous lady.
How should a woman be strong? Certainly, she should be physically strong. Though not a body builder, she should be able to handle physical tasks such as cleaning and laundry without fatigue. Beyond that, she should be mentally strong. That is, she should be able to handle stress and issues without constantly appealing to her husband for help “with every little thing.” She should be able to handle the children until hubby gets home. The strong woman does not call her husband at work every fifteen minutes to whine about her current embroilment with the kids.
Of course, and most importantly, she should be strong spiritually. The strong woman has a strong tie to Heaven. The strong woman has strong confidence in God. The strong woman survives, because the strong woman loves and serves the Lord Jesus, first and foremost.
Wisdom for the Wife - 5
Thursday, February 26, 2009
High Fashion
(Proverbs 31:19-23)
Ladies love fashion! New clothes, new shoes, new pocket books—new anything can bring a smile to the face and a lilt to the step (not to mention a “hit” to the wallet). Ladies enjoy sprucing themselves up—God made it that way, and men like it that way! Ladies, it’s OK, while emphasizing the “hidden man of the heart,” to catch your husband’s eye!
In fact, the virtuous woman did just that. Her clothing was sumptuous—“silk and purple” (22). She wore the finest she could afford, augmenting her natural attractiveness with modest, albeit trendy, clothing and accessories. In short, the virtuous woman was not dowdy.
In some Christian circles, dowdiness is the order of the day—often being confused with “modesty.” Simply put, the biblical virtue of modesty may be defined as “clothes that cover but do not cling.” There is plenty of room for fashion in that definition! Therefore, it is not necessary for virtuous women to dress as if they just stepped off the set of “Little House on the Prairie.”
Quite to the contrary, the virtuous woman’s husband is “known in the gates” as a man who married a “trophy” wife, one who keeps herself neat, sweet, and petite! Can fashion reflect virtue? Proverbs says it can and does! What should you do now, ladies? Preacher’s advice: Shop till you drop!
High Fashion
(Proverbs 31:19-23)
Ladies love fashion! New clothes, new shoes, new pocket books—new anything can bring a smile to the face and a lilt to the step (not to mention a “hit” to the wallet). Ladies enjoy sprucing themselves up—God made it that way, and men like it that way! Ladies, it’s OK, while emphasizing the “hidden man of the heart,” to catch your husband’s eye!
In fact, the virtuous woman did just that. Her clothing was sumptuous—“silk and purple” (22). She wore the finest she could afford, augmenting her natural attractiveness with modest, albeit trendy, clothing and accessories. In short, the virtuous woman was not dowdy.
In some Christian circles, dowdiness is the order of the day—often being confused with “modesty.” Simply put, the biblical virtue of modesty may be defined as “clothes that cover but do not cling.” There is plenty of room for fashion in that definition! Therefore, it is not necessary for virtuous women to dress as if they just stepped off the set of “Little House on the Prairie.”
Quite to the contrary, the virtuous woman’s husband is “known in the gates” as a man who married a “trophy” wife, one who keeps herself neat, sweet, and petite! Can fashion reflect virtue? Proverbs says it can and does! What should you do now, ladies? Preacher’s advice: Shop till you drop!
Wisdom for the Wife - 6
Friday, February 27, 2009
The Law of Kindness
(Proverbs 31:25-27)
The sexes, it seems, have characteristic “besetting” sins. Men, for example, frequently struggle with anger and temper issues. Properly dealt with, the short fuse can be lengthened by God’s grace. Women, too, have their sin issues. Perhaps most proverbially prominent among woman are besetting sins of the tongue. Put another way, women are just plain catty (sometimes).
The virtuous woman, however, regulates her speech with a hard-and-fast rule—a “law,” if you will—the law of kindness. As a regulation, kindness dictates the virtuous woman’s communication with others. Now mind you, the law of kindness doesn’t restrict what she thinks, only what she says. Though her thoughts are her own (and, husbands, thank God you can’t read her mind!) her tongue conforms to the rule of kindness—sometimes through clenched teeth! You see, the virtuous woman understands that words, once said, can never really be taken back. She frequently chides the children, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all;” and she lives by her own advice.
So, what will it be, ladies? Which will prevail, kindness or cattiness? Will you be remembered as sweet or sour? Place your tongue “under arrest” if it has violated the law of kindness!
The Law of Kindness
(Proverbs 31:25-27)
The sexes, it seems, have characteristic “besetting” sins. Men, for example, frequently struggle with anger and temper issues. Properly dealt with, the short fuse can be lengthened by God’s grace. Women, too, have their sin issues. Perhaps most proverbially prominent among woman are besetting sins of the tongue. Put another way, women are just plain catty (sometimes).
The virtuous woman, however, regulates her speech with a hard-and-fast rule—a “law,” if you will—the law of kindness. As a regulation, kindness dictates the virtuous woman’s communication with others. Now mind you, the law of kindness doesn’t restrict what she thinks, only what she says. Though her thoughts are her own (and, husbands, thank God you can’t read her mind!) her tongue conforms to the rule of kindness—sometimes through clenched teeth! You see, the virtuous woman understands that words, once said, can never really be taken back. She frequently chides the children, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say it at all;” and she lives by her own advice.
So, what will it be, ladies? Which will prevail, kindness or cattiness? Will you be remembered as sweet or sour? Place your tongue “under arrest” if it has violated the law of kindness!
Wisdom for the Wife - 7
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Her Legacy
(Proverbs 31:28-31)
It has rightly been said that the true test of an individual’s worth is what he (or she) leaves behind—his legacy. Biblically speaking, the importance of “legacy” has little relation to leaving money or an estate, though it is proper to leave material provision for our children (Prov. 13:22). In the biblical sense, godliness is the most important legacy for us to leave to the next generation and to generations to come.
Ultimately, the virtuous woman’s worth is not reckoned by frenetic activity. It is possible to be too busy—so busy as to do everything without really leaving anything of lasting value behind. What do I mean by lasting value? I’m referring to your children.
The virtuous woman’s legacy consists of the approbation of her children—they “arise up, and call her blessed.” Whatever her faults may have been, they fade into oblivion in the minds of her children. She was more than a mother; she was a teacher, guide, and friend. Her image remains the most sacred icon in her son’s Parthenon of heroes. Her influence continues as the sweetest and gentlest breath of grace ever experienced by her daughter. Put in unadorned English, her children will forever declare her, “The best mother ever!”
Nothing, really, is better than the undying love of a child. Nothing can bless the lonely hours of the twilight years like knowing your children love you. And nothing—absolutely nothing—can reach beyond the grave to the very courts of heaven like a child’s love for his virtuous mother!
Her Legacy
(Proverbs 31:28-31)
It has rightly been said that the true test of an individual’s worth is what he (or she) leaves behind—his legacy. Biblically speaking, the importance of “legacy” has little relation to leaving money or an estate, though it is proper to leave material provision for our children (Prov. 13:22). In the biblical sense, godliness is the most important legacy for us to leave to the next generation and to generations to come.
Ultimately, the virtuous woman’s worth is not reckoned by frenetic activity. It is possible to be too busy—so busy as to do everything without really leaving anything of lasting value behind. What do I mean by lasting value? I’m referring to your children.
The virtuous woman’s legacy consists of the approbation of her children—they “arise up, and call her blessed.” Whatever her faults may have been, they fade into oblivion in the minds of her children. She was more than a mother; she was a teacher, guide, and friend. Her image remains the most sacred icon in her son’s Parthenon of heroes. Her influence continues as the sweetest and gentlest breath of grace ever experienced by her daughter. Put in unadorned English, her children will forever declare her, “The best mother ever!”
Nothing, really, is better than the undying love of a child. Nothing can bless the lonely hours of the twilight years like knowing your children love you. And nothing—absolutely nothing—can reach beyond the grave to the very courts of heaven like a child’s love for his virtuous mother!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Help for the Husband - 1
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Servant Leadership
(Matthew 20:20-28)
Leadership is a primary responsibility for every husband (Ephesians 5:23). As the head of his wife, the husband must take the lead in matters both spiritual and temporal. Being the leader, however, does not mean being autocratic and dictatorial—far from it. In Biblical terms, leadership always means serving—being a servant, not a tyrant.
Jesus set the ultimate example of servant leadership. Even though He was both Son of God and Son of Man, He did not insist upon His inherent “rights.” Rather, Jesus “ministered” to those who should have bowed before Him. As God, Jesus is the ultimate “leader;” but He demonstrated leadership by serving others.
I have on my office wall a painting to which I look several times each day. The painting depicts Jesus washing Peter’s feet (John 13:4-10). As I gaze upon the artist’s sublime representation of that scene, I am reminded that my duty as pastor is not dictator, tyrant, or demagogue. My duty is service—humble, self-abasing service that is willing to do the dirty work.
Husbands, Christ is your example as well. He denied Himself the privileges that were rightly His to claim as the Son of God. Perfect holiness stooped to serve unfathomable sinfulness. The ultimate Leader became the “servant of all.” His example, gentlemen, should define your leadership within your home.
Servant Leadership
(Matthew 20:20-28)
Leadership is a primary responsibility for every husband (Ephesians 5:23). As the head of his wife, the husband must take the lead in matters both spiritual and temporal. Being the leader, however, does not mean being autocratic and dictatorial—far from it. In Biblical terms, leadership always means serving—being a servant, not a tyrant.
Jesus set the ultimate example of servant leadership. Even though He was both Son of God and Son of Man, He did not insist upon His inherent “rights.” Rather, Jesus “ministered” to those who should have bowed before Him. As God, Jesus is the ultimate “leader;” but He demonstrated leadership by serving others.
I have on my office wall a painting to which I look several times each day. The painting depicts Jesus washing Peter’s feet (John 13:4-10). As I gaze upon the artist’s sublime representation of that scene, I am reminded that my duty as pastor is not dictator, tyrant, or demagogue. My duty is service—humble, self-abasing service that is willing to do the dirty work.
Husbands, Christ is your example as well. He denied Himself the privileges that were rightly His to claim as the Son of God. Perfect holiness stooped to serve unfathomable sinfulness. The ultimate Leader became the “servant of all.” His example, gentlemen, should define your leadership within your home.
Help for the Husband - 2
Monday, February 16, 2009
The Mind of Christ
(Philippians 2:1-11)
Secular leaders (businessmen, coaches, military men) agree: the battle is always in the mind. Success in any endeavor begins in the mind—overcoming thoughts of defeat, inspiring oneself to greater effort, and maintaining a positive outlook through the tough times breed success. Failure, too, results from the mind—frustration, depression, and giving up stem from negative, unproductive thought patterns.
The Bible teaches much the same thing for Christians. Paul exhorts us to put on the “mind” of Christ Jesus. In other words, we’re to think as He would think and not to deviate from His thought pattern.
How did Jesus think? The Bible tells us that though He is God (6), He did not stress his authority (7a). Rather, He became a servant, humbled Himself, practiced obedience, and made the ultimate sacrifice (8). The essence of the “mind of Christ” is personal self-sacrifice.
Self-sacrifice is in short supply, even in Christian marriages. Our culture—especially male culture—promotes indulgence and excess, often at the expense of others. For Christian husbands, our culture’s bent is untenable. We are called to the highest standard—the mind of Christ. We are called to service, humility, obedience to Christ, and sacrifice for our families. Let’s be real men! Let’s buck the cultural trends! Let’s discipline our minds to think as Jesus thought!
The Mind of Christ
(Philippians 2:1-11)
Secular leaders (businessmen, coaches, military men) agree: the battle is always in the mind. Success in any endeavor begins in the mind—overcoming thoughts of defeat, inspiring oneself to greater effort, and maintaining a positive outlook through the tough times breed success. Failure, too, results from the mind—frustration, depression, and giving up stem from negative, unproductive thought patterns.
The Bible teaches much the same thing for Christians. Paul exhorts us to put on the “mind” of Christ Jesus. In other words, we’re to think as He would think and not to deviate from His thought pattern.
How did Jesus think? The Bible tells us that though He is God (6), He did not stress his authority (7a). Rather, He became a servant, humbled Himself, practiced obedience, and made the ultimate sacrifice (8). The essence of the “mind of Christ” is personal self-sacrifice.
Self-sacrifice is in short supply, even in Christian marriages. Our culture—especially male culture—promotes indulgence and excess, often at the expense of others. For Christian husbands, our culture’s bent is untenable. We are called to the highest standard—the mind of Christ. We are called to service, humility, obedience to Christ, and sacrifice for our families. Let’s be real men! Let’s buck the cultural trends! Let’s discipline our minds to think as Jesus thought!
Help for the Husband - 3
Tuesday, February 17, 2008
Lover Boy
(Ephesians 5:28-33)
“Love is a many-splendored thing,” declares a popular song hearkening back to 1955. For the Christian husband, this musical sentiment is especially true. In fact, Paul lists several of “love’s splendors” in relationship to marriage in Ephesians 5.
The first of love’s splendors mentioned is love’s intensity. Husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. Women are not the only ones guilty of fixating on their bodies! Paul states that men “nourish and cherish” their “flesh” (29). “Nourish” means “to eat” and “cherish” literally means “to keep warm.” In short, men desire to be fed and comfortable. (Wives, can I get an “amen?”) Here’s the point: a man should love his wife with the same intensity as he loves himself—caring for her, meeting her needs, making her comfortable.
The second “splendor” of love is unity (31). In marriage, the husband’s life has blended homogeneously with that of his wife. He is no longer a free agent, an independent operator. Two lives are one in absolute unity.
Thirdly, Paul teaches that reflection is a splendor of love (32). A husband’s love should mirror the love of Jesus and reflect the testimony of Christ to a watching world. Christian marriage should articulate a divine message: Christ’s relationship to His church.
Intensity, unity, and reflection—truly, love is a many-splendored thing!
Lover Boy
(Ephesians 5:28-33)
“Love is a many-splendored thing,” declares a popular song hearkening back to 1955. For the Christian husband, this musical sentiment is especially true. In fact, Paul lists several of “love’s splendors” in relationship to marriage in Ephesians 5.
The first of love’s splendors mentioned is love’s intensity. Husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. Women are not the only ones guilty of fixating on their bodies! Paul states that men “nourish and cherish” their “flesh” (29). “Nourish” means “to eat” and “cherish” literally means “to keep warm.” In short, men desire to be fed and comfortable. (Wives, can I get an “amen?”) Here’s the point: a man should love his wife with the same intensity as he loves himself—caring for her, meeting her needs, making her comfortable.
The second “splendor” of love is unity (31). In marriage, the husband’s life has blended homogeneously with that of his wife. He is no longer a free agent, an independent operator. Two lives are one in absolute unity.
Thirdly, Paul teaches that reflection is a splendor of love (32). A husband’s love should mirror the love of Jesus and reflect the testimony of Christ to a watching world. Christian marriage should articulate a divine message: Christ’s relationship to His church.
Intensity, unity, and reflection—truly, love is a many-splendored thing!
Help for the Husband - 4
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Sensitivity Training
(I Samuel 1:1-8)
Biblical masculinity requires that men be both tough and tender at the same time. It should be noted that “tender” has nothing to do with a man’s “getting in touch with his feminine side.” That’s weird. Biblical tenderness involves a man’s sensitivity to those around him, particularly his wife.
Elkanah demonstrates just such Biblical sensitivity. Though not a stellar husbandly example in some ways (plural marriage was condemned by God—Deut. 17:17—though widely practiced), Elkanah exemplified tender sensitivity to his wife’s concerns.
Elkanah noticed Hannah’s emotional distress. Sensitivity begins with a husband noticing his wife’s mood swings. Men can be so self-consumed as to not even notice their wife’s heartache. Being oblivious to your wife’s hurt compounds her pain.
Also, Elkanah inquired as to the cause of Hannah’s distress. In other words, he showed genuine interest. He didn’t merely brush her emotions aside by telling her to “get over it.” He was genuinely interested in the root cause of her anguish. If your wife is sorrowful, tenderly inquire about the problem.
Lastly, Elkanah gave her reassurance. Hannah’s trouble was not so much her barrenness. The primary problem was insecurity—the feeling that her husband could not love her as much because she was childless. Elkanah generously reassured her of his love. Tough and tender—what a guy!
Sensitivity Training
(I Samuel 1:1-8)
Biblical masculinity requires that men be both tough and tender at the same time. It should be noted that “tender” has nothing to do with a man’s “getting in touch with his feminine side.” That’s weird. Biblical tenderness involves a man’s sensitivity to those around him, particularly his wife.
Elkanah demonstrates just such Biblical sensitivity. Though not a stellar husbandly example in some ways (plural marriage was condemned by God—Deut. 17:17—though widely practiced), Elkanah exemplified tender sensitivity to his wife’s concerns.
Elkanah noticed Hannah’s emotional distress. Sensitivity begins with a husband noticing his wife’s mood swings. Men can be so self-consumed as to not even notice their wife’s heartache. Being oblivious to your wife’s hurt compounds her pain.
Also, Elkanah inquired as to the cause of Hannah’s distress. In other words, he showed genuine interest. He didn’t merely brush her emotions aside by telling her to “get over it.” He was genuinely interested in the root cause of her anguish. If your wife is sorrowful, tenderly inquire about the problem.
Lastly, Elkanah gave her reassurance. Hannah’s trouble was not so much her barrenness. The primary problem was insecurity—the feeling that her husband could not love her as much because she was childless. Elkanah generously reassured her of his love. Tough and tender—what a guy!
Help for the Husband - 5
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Standards, Please!
(Psalm 101)
Satan has focused his attack upon the Christian home. Subtly, he has made inroads unthinkable just a few short years ago. He has been aided in his efforts by the complacency of believers, particularly by men who have abdicated their responsibility to protect their homes.
Psalm 101 is a declaration of a man determined to protect the sanctity of his home from Satanic influence. The Psalmist understands and readily accepts his responsibility resist the devil. The Psalmist’s strategy will still work for us today.
First, the Psalmist committed to keeping his heart right with God (2). He determined to model wise, Scriptural behavior. He also determined that his “perfect heart” would be most apparent within the confines of his home. He would not be a hypocrite, reserving his best behavior for the church house.
Secondly, he determined to set standards for the influences allowable in his home. “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes” is his determined declaration. In other words, the Psalmist would not tolerate the presence and influence of visual corruption.
His intolerance is more apropos today than ever! Christian men should adhere to the Psalmist’s standard regarding T.V., movies, video games, and computer use. Draw the line and keep it drawn!
Standards, Please!
(Psalm 101)
Satan has focused his attack upon the Christian home. Subtly, he has made inroads unthinkable just a few short years ago. He has been aided in his efforts by the complacency of believers, particularly by men who have abdicated their responsibility to protect their homes.
Psalm 101 is a declaration of a man determined to protect the sanctity of his home from Satanic influence. The Psalmist understands and readily accepts his responsibility resist the devil. The Psalmist’s strategy will still work for us today.
First, the Psalmist committed to keeping his heart right with God (2). He determined to model wise, Scriptural behavior. He also determined that his “perfect heart” would be most apparent within the confines of his home. He would not be a hypocrite, reserving his best behavior for the church house.
Secondly, he determined to set standards for the influences allowable in his home. “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes” is his determined declaration. In other words, the Psalmist would not tolerate the presence and influence of visual corruption.
His intolerance is more apropos today than ever! Christian men should adhere to the Psalmist’s standard regarding T.V., movies, video games, and computer use. Draw the line and keep it drawn!
Help for the Husband - 6
Friday, February 20, 2009
To Keep Thee
(Proverbs 6:20-35)
American culture is becoming, by and large, a cesspool. Every aspect of the pop scene—T.V., internet, music, movies, printed literature, even video games—has been sexualized for the sake of profit and at the cost of decency. Without even seeking it, Christian men find themselves continually bombarded with images designed to tantalize and entice sensually. How can Christian men escape unscathed in an all-pervasive sexually charged atmosphere?
The answer, of course, is the Word of God, the Bible. Proverbs 6:20-23 recommend continual exposure to God’s Word as an antidote to the sensuous poison of our culture. In fact, the Bible’s “mission” to men is “to keep thee from the evil woman” (24). In other words, God’s word—when diligently read and meditated upon—is a “lamp and a light” to guide men away from temptation and sin.
When internalized, God’s commandments lead our steps, guard our sleep (even our dreams), and communicate to us every waking minute, providing both reproofs and instruction (22, 23). This active ministry of the Bible in our lives protects us from a culture awash in sensuality.
Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed thereto according to thy word. –Psalm 119:9
To Keep Thee
(Proverbs 6:20-35)
American culture is becoming, by and large, a cesspool. Every aspect of the pop scene—T.V., internet, music, movies, printed literature, even video games—has been sexualized for the sake of profit and at the cost of decency. Without even seeking it, Christian men find themselves continually bombarded with images designed to tantalize and entice sensually. How can Christian men escape unscathed in an all-pervasive sexually charged atmosphere?
The answer, of course, is the Word of God, the Bible. Proverbs 6:20-23 recommend continual exposure to God’s Word as an antidote to the sensuous poison of our culture. In fact, the Bible’s “mission” to men is “to keep thee from the evil woman” (24). In other words, God’s word—when diligently read and meditated upon—is a “lamp and a light” to guide men away from temptation and sin.
When internalized, God’s commandments lead our steps, guard our sleep (even our dreams), and communicate to us every waking minute, providing both reproofs and instruction (22, 23). This active ministry of the Bible in our lives protects us from a culture awash in sensuality.
Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed thereto according to thy word. –Psalm 119:9
Help for the Husband - 7
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Providing for Your Own
(I Timothy 5:1-8)
Scripture enjoins Christian men to many duties, not the least of which is providing for the needs of their households. Paul’s command to the male breadwinner is heightened by his warning that failure to provide is a denial of the faith and places the professed believer in a class “worse than an infidel” (8). Providing for our families is a fundamental of our faith and should be a top priority for every Christian man.
We live, however, in tough economic times. For some (through no fault of their own), providing basic needs has become a real challenge. Today, as never before, men must be careful and conscientious regarding financial matters.
Being careful involves establishing a workable budget and living by it. It also requires establishing an “emergency fund” for use on the proverbial “rainy day.” Dave Ramsey’s book The Total Money Makeover is an invaluable guide to financial issues.
Being conscientious involves keeping priorities right before God. No matter how tight things get, you should not neglect faithful tithing. In addition, you should willingly sacrifice any luxury item in order to afford life insurance—just in case. That way, you’re providing for your own even when you’re not there.
Careful and conscientious—these two words go a long way in protecting the integrity of your faith.
Providing for Your Own
(I Timothy 5:1-8)
Scripture enjoins Christian men to many duties, not the least of which is providing for the needs of their households. Paul’s command to the male breadwinner is heightened by his warning that failure to provide is a denial of the faith and places the professed believer in a class “worse than an infidel” (8). Providing for our families is a fundamental of our faith and should be a top priority for every Christian man.
We live, however, in tough economic times. For some (through no fault of their own), providing basic needs has become a real challenge. Today, as never before, men must be careful and conscientious regarding financial matters.
Being careful involves establishing a workable budget and living by it. It also requires establishing an “emergency fund” for use on the proverbial “rainy day.” Dave Ramsey’s book The Total Money Makeover is an invaluable guide to financial issues.
Being conscientious involves keeping priorities right before God. No matter how tight things get, you should not neglect faithful tithing. In addition, you should willingly sacrifice any luxury item in order to afford life insurance—just in case. That way, you’re providing for your own even when you’re not there.
Careful and conscientious—these two words go a long way in protecting the integrity of your faith.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Daily Devotions Now Avaliable
Dear Blog Reader:
Since the first of the year, I have been writing brief daily devotions for my congregation. They are included in booklet form in each week's Sunday bulletin. I am now publishing these to the blog for the benefit of those who do not attend our church. I hope you will enjoy these thoughts.
Incidentally, the month of February is "Marriage Month." All of the devotions in February will center around various aspects of marriage.
The first devotional will begin with February 8, 2009. However, if you would like January's devotionals (or the first week of February, for that matter) you may e-mail me at preacher@faithbaptistavon.com. I will be glad to send them to you via word document attachment.
Thanks for reading!
Pastor Monte
Since the first of the year, I have been writing brief daily devotions for my congregation. They are included in booklet form in each week's Sunday bulletin. I am now publishing these to the blog for the benefit of those who do not attend our church. I hope you will enjoy these thoughts.
Incidentally, the month of February is "Marriage Month." All of the devotions in February will center around various aspects of marriage.
The first devotional will begin with February 8, 2009. However, if you would like January's devotionals (or the first week of February, for that matter) you may e-mail me at preacher@faithbaptistavon.com. I will be glad to send them to you via word document attachment.
Thanks for reading!
Pastor Monte
Communication 1--Marriage Devotions
Communication – 1
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Speak Truth
(Ephesians 4:17-25)
Successful marriages are all about successful communication. In fact, renowned Christian counselor Jay Adams claims that communication is “the basic skill needed to establish and maintain sound relationships.” He goes on to say that a “sound husband and wife relationship is impossible apart from communication.” That being said, husbands and wives must develop a Biblical model of interpersonal fellowship. Just such a model is described in Ephesians 4.
Paul states that communication should be honest (25). There is no place for deceit in the Christian life, much less in Christian marriage. However, several factors may hinder honesty, even in Christian marriage. For example, if one spouse senses a lack of acceptance, he may become reticent to talk fully and openly. If one experiences a lack of trust, he may hesitate to speak freely. And sometimes communication is hampered by a lack of forgiveness, the sense that the listening spouse is passing judgment on every word, storing up ammunition for future “discussions.”
Such hindrances must be overcome if marriage is to enjoy full disclosure—truly meaningful exchange. Maybe it’s time to examine your conversations. Are you speaking from the heart about important things—things that matter most? And if not, why not?
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Speak Truth
(Ephesians 4:17-25)
Successful marriages are all about successful communication. In fact, renowned Christian counselor Jay Adams claims that communication is “the basic skill needed to establish and maintain sound relationships.” He goes on to say that a “sound husband and wife relationship is impossible apart from communication.” That being said, husbands and wives must develop a Biblical model of interpersonal fellowship. Just such a model is described in Ephesians 4.
Paul states that communication should be honest (25). There is no place for deceit in the Christian life, much less in Christian marriage. However, several factors may hinder honesty, even in Christian marriage. For example, if one spouse senses a lack of acceptance, he may become reticent to talk fully and openly. If one experiences a lack of trust, he may hesitate to speak freely. And sometimes communication is hampered by a lack of forgiveness, the sense that the listening spouse is passing judgment on every word, storing up ammunition for future “discussions.”
Such hindrances must be overcome if marriage is to enjoy full disclosure—truly meaningful exchange. Maybe it’s time to examine your conversations. Are you speaking from the heart about important things—things that matter most? And if not, why not?
Communication 2--Marriage Devotions
Communication – 2
Monday, February 9, 2009
Agreeable Disagreements
(Ephesians 4:26-32)
Living with another person isn’t always easy. In fact, day-to-day proximity coupled with the blending of two lives always presents wonderful challenges! By “challenges,” I mean disagreements. You may be surprised to know that even anger is O.K. if confined to Biblical guidelines. Ephesians 4 gives us the Biblical limitations of anger.
First, anger is acceptable. To some that sounds surprising, yet the Bible teaches that we can be “angry” as long as we “sin not” (26). Acceptable anger is passion under complete control. It feels the burn without the explosion. It never raises its voice, and never acts out in violent or destructive ways. Biblical anger does not cause fear in the other party.
Secondly, anger is limited. God makes allowance for anger, but He places a time limit upon it. We are not to maintain our anger past the setting of the sun, and there is no provision for carrying anger into the next day. When the sun goes down, so must your anger.
Thirdly, anger is restrained. Satan knows how to use a variety of human emotions against us. We must never allow emotional excesses to become the Devil’s playground in our lives (27). If left unchecked, any emotion—especially anger—can open the door for Satan’s influence. How to disagree agreeably? “Be ye angry and sin not.”
Monday, February 9, 2009
Agreeable Disagreements
(Ephesians 4:26-32)
Living with another person isn’t always easy. In fact, day-to-day proximity coupled with the blending of two lives always presents wonderful challenges! By “challenges,” I mean disagreements. You may be surprised to know that even anger is O.K. if confined to Biblical guidelines. Ephesians 4 gives us the Biblical limitations of anger.
First, anger is acceptable. To some that sounds surprising, yet the Bible teaches that we can be “angry” as long as we “sin not” (26). Acceptable anger is passion under complete control. It feels the burn without the explosion. It never raises its voice, and never acts out in violent or destructive ways. Biblical anger does not cause fear in the other party.
Secondly, anger is limited. God makes allowance for anger, but He places a time limit upon it. We are not to maintain our anger past the setting of the sun, and there is no provision for carrying anger into the next day. When the sun goes down, so must your anger.
Thirdly, anger is restrained. Satan knows how to use a variety of human emotions against us. We must never allow emotional excesses to become the Devil’s playground in our lives (27). If left unchecked, any emotion—especially anger—can open the door for Satan’s influence. How to disagree agreeably? “Be ye angry and sin not.”
Communication 4--Marriage Devotions
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Listen Up!
(Proverbs 18:1-24)
Communication is a two-way street. In order to be effective, each partner in marriage must head both directions—speaking and listening. In many cases, speaking comes easier than listening, especially when a sense of urgency takes control. Mere expression, however, can not solve issues. Someone must be listening, and listening attentively.
Proverbs 18:13 warns about the over-eager tongue which answers a matter before hearing it. When this happens, the mind is usually so engaged in plotting a response that it can not process what the other person is saying. Without listening, meaningful communication is impossible, and the conversation will become more heat than light.
Though one-sided conversations (held with both people talking and no one listening) may seem humorous, the Bible says that such communication methods bring both folly and shame—folly because it appears foolish and shame because it leaves issues unresolved and tempers high.
What’s the answer? In a word, listen. Concentrate your thoughts on what your spouse is saying. Be fully engaged in his/her perspective on the issue. Only then can your response be reasoned, sensible, and Biblical.
Listen Up!
(Proverbs 18:1-24)
Communication is a two-way street. In order to be effective, each partner in marriage must head both directions—speaking and listening. In many cases, speaking comes easier than listening, especially when a sense of urgency takes control. Mere expression, however, can not solve issues. Someone must be listening, and listening attentively.
Proverbs 18:13 warns about the over-eager tongue which answers a matter before hearing it. When this happens, the mind is usually so engaged in plotting a response that it can not process what the other person is saying. Without listening, meaningful communication is impossible, and the conversation will become more heat than light.
Though one-sided conversations (held with both people talking and no one listening) may seem humorous, the Bible says that such communication methods bring both folly and shame—folly because it appears foolish and shame because it leaves issues unresolved and tempers high.
What’s the answer? In a word, listen. Concentrate your thoughts on what your spouse is saying. Be fully engaged in his/her perspective on the issue. Only then can your response be reasoned, sensible, and Biblical.
Communication 3--Marriage Devotions
Communication – 3
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Keep It Sweet
(Ephesians 4:25-32—Yes, read it again!)
The initial days of infatuation, dating, and new love typically reflect guarded, considerate communication. However, as the relationship deepens, it is not uncommon for communication to degenerate. Unfortunately, after marriage verbal discussion sometimes takes a negative turn toward high-volume rudeness and even abuse.
This degenerative trend in some marriages defies Scriptural admonition. God has laid the ground rules for all communication, and these rules must be followed—especially in the most sacred of human relationships, marriage. What are the “rules?” Let’s examine Ephesians 4:
• Honesty (25)—no exaggeration such as “You always…” or “You never…”
• Control (26)—High volume, profanity, and name calling are out of bounds.
• Tact (29)—Always consider your partner’s feelings.
• Forgiveness (31)—You must not harbor ill-will nor nurse bitterness.
• Repair (32)—Demonstrate kindness and tenderness before, during, and after the discussion.
Honesty, control, tact, forgiveness, and repair—5 Biblical precepts to help you to “keep it sweet” in communication.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Keep It Sweet
(Ephesians 4:25-32—Yes, read it again!)
The initial days of infatuation, dating, and new love typically reflect guarded, considerate communication. However, as the relationship deepens, it is not uncommon for communication to degenerate. Unfortunately, after marriage verbal discussion sometimes takes a negative turn toward high-volume rudeness and even abuse.
This degenerative trend in some marriages defies Scriptural admonition. God has laid the ground rules for all communication, and these rules must be followed—especially in the most sacred of human relationships, marriage. What are the “rules?” Let’s examine Ephesians 4:
• Honesty (25)—no exaggeration such as “You always…” or “You never…”
• Control (26)—High volume, profanity, and name calling are out of bounds.
• Tact (29)—Always consider your partner’s feelings.
• Forgiveness (31)—You must not harbor ill-will nor nurse bitterness.
• Repair (32)—Demonstrate kindness and tenderness before, during, and after the discussion.
Honesty, control, tact, forgiveness, and repair—5 Biblical precepts to help you to “keep it sweet” in communication.
Communication 5--Marriage Devotions
Communication – 5
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Think Before You Speak
(Proverbs 15:1-33)
As previously mentioned, good communication involves both speaking and listening. In addition, there is a third aspect to good conversation: thinking. Proverbs 15:28 tells us that the “heart of the righteous studieth to answer, but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.” In other words, those who are righteous are not impetuous with their speech.
In an age of hyperbole, radio “shock jocks,” and sensationalist program hosts, thoughtful communication receives little popular attention. The Biblical standard for speech, however, is think before you speak. Christians should weigh their words carefully and communicate accurately and cautiously.
Reasoned speech does not blurt out everything that’s on its mind. Rather, it sorts through thoughts, choosing the right words to express the right ideas in the right tone. Reasoned speech ponders before it pronounces. Reasoned speech also knows when to remain silent.
When talking with your spouse, don’t aim for verbosity or rapidity. Think things through completely, weigh your words carefully (especially on sensitive matters), and watch your tone continually. Such are the marks of “righteous” communication.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Think Before You Speak
(Proverbs 15:1-33)
As previously mentioned, good communication involves both speaking and listening. In addition, there is a third aspect to good conversation: thinking. Proverbs 15:28 tells us that the “heart of the righteous studieth to answer, but the mouth of the wicked poureth out evil things.” In other words, those who are righteous are not impetuous with their speech.
In an age of hyperbole, radio “shock jocks,” and sensationalist program hosts, thoughtful communication receives little popular attention. The Biblical standard for speech, however, is think before you speak. Christians should weigh their words carefully and communicate accurately and cautiously.
Reasoned speech does not blurt out everything that’s on its mind. Rather, it sorts through thoughts, choosing the right words to express the right ideas in the right tone. Reasoned speech ponders before it pronounces. Reasoned speech also knows when to remain silent.
When talking with your spouse, don’t aim for verbosity or rapidity. Think things through completely, weigh your words carefully (especially on sensitive matters), and watch your tone continually. Such are the marks of “righteous” communication.
Communication 6--Marriage Devotions
Communication – 6
Friday, February 13, 2009
Keep It Simple
(I Corinthians 14:26-33)
It has well been said that “simplicity is truth’s most becoming garb.” Read a detailed legal document, and you will come to appreciate simplicity in communication—the ability to communicate clearly, boldly and accurately.
God values clarity, forthrightness, and accuracy—in a word, simplicity, in communication. In First Corinthians, Paul establishes multiple principles regarding communication in church worship services. In summary, he asserts that “God is not the author of confusion, but of peace…” (33). If a church service results in confusion, you can be sure that God had no part in it. (Our Charismatic friends would do well to consider Paul’s admonition.)
Certainly what’s true in the church is also true in the home. If communication results in confusion, something is missing. If every discussion becomes a fight, God has been left out of the mix. Since He is not the “author of confusion,” we must come to admit our failures return to simplicity in speech—clarity, boldness, and accuracy.
Apart from these, all the talk—no matter how emotional, loud, or descriptive—results in nothing but anger, frustration, and ultimately confusion. Speak with simplicity, and the end result will be peace!
Friday, February 13, 2009
Keep It Simple
(I Corinthians 14:26-33)
It has well been said that “simplicity is truth’s most becoming garb.” Read a detailed legal document, and you will come to appreciate simplicity in communication—the ability to communicate clearly, boldly and accurately.
God values clarity, forthrightness, and accuracy—in a word, simplicity, in communication. In First Corinthians, Paul establishes multiple principles regarding communication in church worship services. In summary, he asserts that “God is not the author of confusion, but of peace…” (33). If a church service results in confusion, you can be sure that God had no part in it. (Our Charismatic friends would do well to consider Paul’s admonition.)
Certainly what’s true in the church is also true in the home. If communication results in confusion, something is missing. If every discussion becomes a fight, God has been left out of the mix. Since He is not the “author of confusion,” we must come to admit our failures return to simplicity in speech—clarity, boldness, and accuracy.
Apart from these, all the talk—no matter how emotional, loud, or descriptive—results in nothing but anger, frustration, and ultimately confusion. Speak with simplicity, and the end result will be peace!
Communication 7--Marriage Devotions
Communication – 7
Saturday, February 14, 2009
When Love Speaks
(I Corinthians 13)
Today is Valentines Day! (This happy reminder is for husbands who hopefully have time to act upon it. If in a “pinch,” remember Walgreens—24/7!) On this special day we say “I love you” to the significant people in our lives, especially to our spouse.
Retailers remind us that there are many ways to say “I love you.” Flowers, they say, speak volumes. Cards lend us eloquence beyond our vocabularies. And chocolate—well, that beats both flowers and cards! Whatever you chose, you’re saying “I love you!”
The Apostle Paul also reminds us that there are many ways to say “I love you.” In First Corinthians 13, he enumerates expressions of genuine love. For example, he states that love “suffereth long.” Patience, therefore, is a way of saying, “I love you.” Love is also “kind.” Therefore, kindness says, “I love you.” Other examples can be drawn from the passage.
“I love you” is also expressed by refraining from some things. Love, for example, is “not easily provoked.” It could be said, therefore, that a “long fuse” says, “I love you.” Examine the passage to find other expressions of love. You will find that the words “I love you” are most clearly spoken through a life reflective of the Biblical ideals.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
When Love Speaks
(I Corinthians 13)
Today is Valentines Day! (This happy reminder is for husbands who hopefully have time to act upon it. If in a “pinch,” remember Walgreens—24/7!) On this special day we say “I love you” to the significant people in our lives, especially to our spouse.
Retailers remind us that there are many ways to say “I love you.” Flowers, they say, speak volumes. Cards lend us eloquence beyond our vocabularies. And chocolate—well, that beats both flowers and cards! Whatever you chose, you’re saying “I love you!”
The Apostle Paul also reminds us that there are many ways to say “I love you.” In First Corinthians 13, he enumerates expressions of genuine love. For example, he states that love “suffereth long.” Patience, therefore, is a way of saying, “I love you.” Love is also “kind.” Therefore, kindness says, “I love you.” Other examples can be drawn from the passage.
“I love you” is also expressed by refraining from some things. Love, for example, is “not easily provoked.” It could be said, therefore, that a “long fuse” says, “I love you.” Examine the passage to find other expressions of love. You will find that the words “I love you” are most clearly spoken through a life reflective of the Biblical ideals.
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